Have your heard about Martha Stewart’s turkeys? Apparently she gets the birds good ‘n’ drunk before they’re slaughtered for Thanksgiving. Here she is with Stephen Colbert explaining the process.
According to Martha, this season alone she’s already taken out six turkeys with her bare hands. Now, for years my opinion has been that Martha’s lifestyle empire is the result of dozens of behind-the-scene staff, maybe hundreds, working furiously to make everything look perfect, so that you think it's all Martha. But in this case, I have no doubt that Martha herself choked those sorry birds. Geez, I need a stiff drink just thinking about it.
"Drunken turkeys - it's a good thing."